The problem with being iconic, is that you are too easy to recognize and that can lead to a whole lot of TMI. Here is to you, Lindsay Lohan and your bad decisions and bad luck, here is to you, Apollo Anton Ohno and your making out with a random girl at Gold’s Gym and […]
Hi, my name is Ashley, and I love validation. Let’s not front, almost all of us vie for validation in some manner, and it’s totally fascinating, but I am also totally trying to wean myself off it. There are nerdy boys vying for validation from prom queens, interns in cheap suits vying for validation from […]
I’m not one to let things to defeat me, but today I gave up on a book. I tried, oh how I tried, but the novel 2030 by Albert Brooks was the worst thing I’ve read in a long time. Read is a strong word, because it was quite unreadable. I remember seeing Brooks on late […]
I was reading an essay written by Harry Houdini called “Helpful Hints for Young Magicians Under Eighty” and as someone who only thinks about comedy, I’d say most of the hints apply to improv. See below: “In winning your audience, remember that ‘manners make fortunes,’ so don’t be impertinent.” “An old trick well done is […]
“Damn it, Hugh, the cigarette lighter, where did you leave the G-d damned cigarette lighter?” Phillip thrust his hands in his back pockets, “Damn it, Hugh, never mind!” Phillip lit up a packaged cigarette, grabbed the TV remote and joined a Law and Order: SVU marathon, despite not being predispositioned to join anything. “Damn it, […]
Peter O’Fricking Toole. This post is mostly just a shout-out to someone I don’t know.
A man’s journey down Santa Monica Blvd. ended with two hookers, an open window and a double dose of Christina Aguilera. Los Angeles can be a dirty place, like the suspect’s theatre-top apartment and his wardrobe that serves as a vague homage to Dennis Rodman. This is where the rest of the story gets more […]
Since Amanda Bynes has not been living up to her Ask Ashley years, I figured I’d give it a go. Ask Ashley a question, that’s me, and also presumably Amanda Bynes before she allegedly used meth. When all was right in the world. Leave me a question about ANYTHING and I will give it a […]
In case you wanted to know more about me as a person, this is what I do when I’m bored. Also, Chris Kattan is a cool dude. Happy Wednesday!
Seven men, six in custom-tailored suits and one in a suit straight off the rack, gathered in a dimly lit bar with only one shelf, and it was the tops. They were surprisingly good-looking for aspiring magicians, even objectively dashing. They conversated with each other in hushed tones, shallowly letting their tongues run ragged with […]