Unattractive, but I’ve got the right. I am really frustrated about not being able to afford a computer. I can’t write my scripts, blogging is reduced to tedious one finger typing and I have nowhere to update my resume to apply for a job that will pay me enough to be able to afford a computer. I moved out here to write, and I’m terrified of all the opportunity I am missing by not being able to submit work. The library by my apartment is a homeless hot spot, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me uncomfortable to be there.

I paid $200 to get my old laptop fixed and it only worked for a day before reverting to the old problem. I work 45-50 hours a week, I really don’t know what more I can do.

I know the answer is: suck it up and make a few more financial sacrifices. The point of this post is to keep myself accountable to saving for this.


32 thoughts on “Frustrated

  1. Rachael Black says:

    understand and wish so very much that I could help. you are a damned talented gal. am barely, actually not, making ends meet on SS Disability, and my daughter moved back in, at age 19, and cannot work right now. She was raped two months ago and is having a hard time.
    I DO have an extra computer tower, it has no memory -have priced two memory cards (Plenty!) at about $70.00
    If you could pay for shipping I would send it.
    Just to keep up with your blog, stand-ups et al.

    Be well,
    ~Miss R

    1. Rachael Black says:

      figure shipping plus new memory would be $100.00… if not I will personally call a few of my old LA friends and have them beat the living shit out if the ass that ripped you off last time

      1. Rachael Black says:

        fuck that. I am 30 pounds overweight and despite my rapier wit (citation needed) big tits (citation should be given) and enormous brains (see Mensa membership) no man or woman will speak with me long enough to find out I am intelligent.
        Get underweight by NOT eating? Everyone will think the same thing,
        You’re fucked up.
        Oh wait. ….

  2. Artist Beverly Bishop says:

    Ashley, have you thought about going to your local library or even to a campus? If you have a state id you should be able to use the college computers…Wish I could help but I am using my phone and actually do what I told you to do…Things will get better for you soon…Hang in there…Bev

  3. Oliver says:

    I’m career IT; got 10+ years of compy repair under my belt. Is your laptop a PC or a Mac? And what exactly is wrong with it?

    I’m kind of totally on the other coast, but I’d be happy to fix it pro-bono (if you can pay to ship it to me).

    1. ashleyjillian says:

      First of all, do you play the mandolin? Super badass! Also, you’re awesome, I am going to contact the guy that gave it a go last time and see if he can look at it again. It’s one of those computers that everyone diagnosis differently.

  4. Sheila Morris says:

    Hey, I don’t know what I’d do without my computer so I totally understand your frustration, although sometimes I wish I was more like Mark Twain scribbling out his stories by longhand. Not really. One, my handwriting is illegible and two, I would still be working on my first book. Don’t despair. You’ll figure it out. Your readers have confidence in you.

    1. ashleyjillian says:

      I want to be a BAMF like Mark Twain. I’ve started filling up a notebook, so not all is lost. Also, you’re amazing 🙂

  5. Drew says:

    That’s sounding really shitty, and I can completely understand if you’re having a really tough time getting through all this. However, I do hope that you just keep going on. There are tons of supportive and helpful comments already, and this is one more for you!

  6. elroyjones says:

    Ashley, I worked in the finance industry and in healthcare. In both positions PCs were periodically upgraded and the old ones given away. It wouldn’t hurt to call the IT departments at some of the large institutions in your area to see if they have equipment that is outdated for them but perfect for you.

  7. trailertrashdeluxe says:

    So, you want to make it as a writer and performer, right? So, unless it would get you beaten up by those who have to do it for a living, or would be bad karma or something, go out and do a piece of performance art, where you make a sign saying that you are a starving writer who needs cash for a new computer and will give half to charity. You’d probably have enough in a couple days and could use the experience as future material (as if I’d have the cajones myself to do such a gutsy thing).

  8. averystypewriter says:

    Love, love, love that you’re blogging without a computer. Nothing will stop the will of a writer. Courage my friend.

  9. Mark Armstrong says:

    Is there a writers support group in your area? Check your local weekly and see if you can find a contact number. Might help your morale, and perhaps you could score a lead on a refurbished machine. Just a thought.

    Hang tough, I know it’s not easy. There’s always a way. Press on, you’ve got a lotta folks pullin’ for you here. : )

  10. ceciledigsin says:

    I can find every excuse in the world not to write. You are younger and going through a tough time. I love that expression ‘suck it up’ There is something comforting in it as is ‘living life on life’s terms’. I say to you rejoice and pick up that pencil and paper.. Write a story about a hard time. And go to the nearest charitable institution for some help.

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