Ashley’s Rules of Social Media Etiquette

I am a regular old Emily (blog)Post. That was to allow for your daily groan, hope you enjoyed! Here we go:

  • Have at least two one-on-one conversations with someone before adding them on Facebook. It’s always cool when you meet a cute guy at a party, but it’s also always awkward when you don’t  see him for 10-months and you have to figure out how to play it.

            Creepy: “Hey, I saw you went to Costa Rica last month! I’ve always wanted to go there!”

Awkward: “Do I know you? You look super familiar.”

Pretend not to know him, avoid eye contact and definitely don’t go for a drunk make-out.

  • Don’t integrate your Twitter feed onto your Facebook — everyone who does this looks like an egocentric jerkface. If people wanted to read your tweets, they would follow you on Twitter.
  • Checking-in on Foursquare doesn’t actually make it look like you have a life, it makes it look like you love checking out of real social interaction for a minute — or longer if your Internet connection sucks. The only places it is OK to check-in are at The Magic Castle in Los Angeles or the White House (the one where the president lives).
  • Don’t complain about your life via Facebook status as a cry for attention. Only about 10 of your Facebook friends care about you on that level, so just talk about it with them. Break-ups suck, but everyone thinking you are incredibly unstable will probably suck harder.
  • Clean your cellphone contacts once a year so you don’t accidentally send study buddy Rebecca from college a text to hangout that’s actually meant for Rebecca you like to get drunk with. Study buddy Rebecca will be weirded out/excited that it only took you five-years to finally want to hangout outside the context of an economics problem set.
  • Never delete the cellphone numbers of ex-boyfriends, but respond to all of their text messages by saying “sorry, who is this?” to reiterate that they don’t mean much to you. The notable exception to this is picture texts — never never ever ever open or respond to a picture text from an ex-boyfriend.
  • Klout makes you look like a bit of a douchebag, GoodReads makes you look like a nerd, Last.fm makes you look like you were cool 5 years ago. I am all the aforementioned things.
  • One social media post of your cat per week
——————–
Feel free to add your own social media etiquette tips in the comments and I will add the ones I can really get behind to the list (with attribution, of course!)
Best///

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63 thoughts on “Ashley’s Rules of Social Media Etiquette

  1. Damn, Ashely, if GoodReads make one look like nerd, what does writing GoodReads make you look like? ;~}

  2. Great post. I agree with – keep everything separate. My FB, LinkedIn, Twitter, WordPress are different worlds. Thank God Goodreads only makes me a nerd, and I am currently without cat so rely on everyone else for cat cuteness. I do not get the concept of having 1500 FB friends you’ve never met or oversharing on FB – TMI or serial status updates makes me hide people. I’d add – allocate only part of your life to social media and the rest of the time get out into the real world so you have something to contribute/convey.

  3. Yeah the food thing is annoying. Looking at pictures of other people’s food serves no purpose. I also hate those people who have status messages looking for compliments, things like ‘I’m a really selfish person’ or ‘I wish I were prettier’, Like they’re waiting for people to tell them they’re wonderful.
    Oh and people who don’t use apostrophes properly annoy me too, but I may be showing my age here.

  4. I would add one of my own: Have SOME easily findable social media presence somehow. Even if it’s just a Facebook page where you can be found. If I do a google search on you and I find nothing in any way, it likely means you either are a pretentious douche that thinks you’re so important that you must keep your things ultra private, you’re an uberdouche that doesn’t “do the internet thing” instead choosing to “read a good book,” or you’re a crazy douche that has to hide from everyone because you’ve naturally pissed off a million people. Regardless, it means you’re a douche.

  5. The cat rule can be applied to parents too. Sure, your kid may be cute, but I don’t want to see 50 photos a day of them looking at a ball, let alone an accompanying video of them giggling. I also get annoyed by people who are too cool to add you on Facebook, but demand you add them. Seriously, is it too much effort for you? Oh, and people who moan about work every day. Come on, at least you have a job while the rest of the world is in debt…
    I could go on, but I won’t, either way this is a great list

  6. Ashley, this is hysterical…and so sad that I don’t even know 50% of what you’re talking about!! Old lesbians do the best they can with all this new-fangled jibberish!!! 🙂

  7. Hilarious–I agree–and I am also guilty of a couple of those! (the twitter link to facebook, but since I don’t comment on either site regularly, I’ve decided that I am the exception to that rule! :)”

  8. I thought it was good advice but I like Goodreads because I get to write book reviews and get recommendations. Also cats, not social at all but dogs. Have a look at my latest post and see what I mean.

  9. Proof reading your status update before posting to Facebook will not actually make Mark Zuckerberg explode. It will just allow your friends to understand that you are planning on running a “half marathon” instead of a “have marathon” “tomorrow” rather than “tomarow.”

  10. LOL. very funny. useful info too.
    A bit confused about the picture texts, why don’t we (at least) open the picture texts? It might hold a good reason to be relieved he is an ex.

  11. Ashley, all of your writing is sensational! Always a pleasure to see what you’re up to! Keep up the great work! Many Blessings!

  12. great… now I feel like an even bigger nerdy loser since I integrated everything… well, I don’t use Foursquare… and I don’t know what Klout is. I do, however, have one-on-one conversations with people before adding them to Facebook – usually.

  13. Thank you, just thank you. I’m so glad there is someone else out there with these rules.
    Personally, I would take the 4th rule (no complaining about personal problems on Facebook) and extend it to Twitter. As my readers can tell from latest post, I feel like there is a lot of emotional traffic on that site, and it just needs to go.

    Again, thanks for the great post!

  14. Thank you for liking my post for the mere fact that I could find your blog, and spit up my afternoon coffee over my office-desk in chuckles and haws.

    These rules are, funny and oh so true.

  15. Okay, so I just disconnected my Twitter feed from my Facebook acct, but I’m not gonna make any promises about the cat photos . I’m not, I tell ya!

  16. Good thing I don’t have a cat or I’d be posting about them every day 😛 I loved this post! Have a good day 🙂

  17. Woo hoo I’m a nerd, so i love that Goodreads emphasize that LOL. That and my twitter is on facebook. What can I say I am egocentric–I’m a leo 🙂

    Some of those other social media you mentioned, I’ve never even heard of. I must live under a rock.
    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

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