I am a regular old Emily (blog)Post. That was to allow for your daily groan, hope you enjoyed! Here we go:
- Have at least two one-on-one conversations with someone before adding them on Facebook. It’s always cool when you meet a cute guy at a party, but it’s also always awkward when you don’t see him for 10-months and you have to figure out how to play it.
Creepy: “Hey, I saw you went to Costa Rica last month! I’ve always wanted to go there!”
Awkward: “Do I know you? You look super familiar.”
Pretend not to know him, avoid eye contact and definitely don’t go for a drunk make-out.
- Don’t integrate your Twitter feed onto your Facebook — everyone who does this looks like an egocentric jerkface. If people wanted to read your tweets, they would follow you on Twitter.
- Checking-in on Foursquare doesn’t actually make it look like you have a life, it makes it look like you love checking out of real social interaction for a minute — or longer if your Internet connection sucks. The only places it is OK to check-in are at The Magic Castle in Los Angeles or the White House (the one where the president lives).
- Don’t complain about your life via Facebook status as a cry for attention. Only about 10 of your Facebook friends care about you on that level, so just talk about it with them. Break-ups suck, but everyone thinking you are incredibly unstable will probably suck harder.
- Clean your cellphone contacts once a year so you don’t accidentally send study buddy Rebecca from college a text to hangout that’s actually meant for Rebecca you like to get drunk with. Study buddy Rebecca will be weirded out/excited that it only took you five-years to finally want to hangout outside the context of an economics problem set.
- Never delete the cellphone numbers of ex-boyfriends, but respond to all of their text messages by saying “sorry, who is this?” to reiterate that they don’t mean much to you. The notable exception to this is picture texts — never never ever ever open or respond to a picture text from an ex-boyfriend.
- Klout makes you look like a bit of a douchebag, GoodReads makes you look like a nerd, Last.fm makes you look like you were cool 5 years ago. I am all the aforementioned things.
- One social media post of your cat per week