Delusion in Hollywood/ But also Kinda Everywhere

First of all, that is a person I know. Not know super well, but have had several conversations with. This video seems to be the culmination of one type of people you meet in Hollywood and all over the world — the delusionals. The American conundrum Chances are, you or someone you know is delusional. Take the quiz below to find out, send this quiz to someone you think is delusional to make things real awkward.

1. You enter the lottery, you think your chances of winning are:

A. Zero. You would rather someone worse off than yourself won because you are doing just fine.

B. Zero. There is a larger chance of being up ducted by identical twin aliens, why bother entering?

C. One in sixty million. Someone has got to win, I am going to keep trying.

D. 100%. I said that Age 30 was going to be my year.

 

2. You are going to do a zombie run next month, because you are really into trend fitness. How do you prepare?

A. You don’t fool me, fun runs, I know you’re still exercise

B. Shin splints run in my family, I am going to pass on the run to avoid any injury or accidental public gas release

C. Run three miles in the evening 3x a week for the month prior to the event, set a goal of finishing within the top 100 racers

D. Spend weeks putting your outfit together because it’s inappropriate to be seen in elastic waisted pants in public

 

3. You consider yourself an artist, your main motivation is:

A. N/A. I enjoy the arts, but I am not an artist at heart.

B. None, it’s too hard to make it as an artist so for now it’s just a hobby

C. Your craft and touching people (in)appropriately with your work

D. Be famous

If you answer mostly Ds, you might be a vain d-bag. If you answer mostly As or Cs, we should BFF.

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10 thoughts on “Delusion in Hollywood/ But also Kinda Everywhere

  1. Speaking of Hollywood. I’d like to add this. This is something most actors don’t think of.
    Film stars are often very generous and likeable, but not to theater workers.
    Stars consider adding theater workers to your list of causes. Do you know that we often work for minimum wage, seldom get full time work and because we don’t work 40 hours, we are denied most worker benefits. This is no better than the way fast food restaurants and Wal-mart treats their employees.

    Stars I encourage you to support movie workers. Let our plight be your concern too. We are all in the movie business. Speak out. Your voice carries weight in this business.

  2. A friend in Hollywood is writing a screenplay. He has never written one before. He is also out of work. He is writing the screenplay with all his friends in the cast (like me, though I’m not in Hollywood, yet somehow manage to touch people…with my…art) and he says he also hopes it will be “Pixar 3-D” …he is attending a writing workshop in Hollywood, I’d swear the class is called something like “Holistic Screenplay Writing”

  3. And if you answer mostly Bs, go away and whine at someone else??

    I got straight As. As usual. We should hang out. (You have to say that last sentence in Jackie Chan’s voice.)

  4. I have friends that have done well, but in most cases could have not worked so that is at least half right there. I sit in on my friends scriptwriting class: there are scripts on option for 30years! They are being told things like “you know, a screen writer can have a fine career without ever having a film made, so long as enough of their scripts are under option…”. You’d have to be delusional not to find that depressing, surely?

      • I know right.

        And there are directors, “big resume” writers, trophy laden branded Oscar winning directors with indie cred to boot, and writing credits, who can’t get film scripts that they want to make away from studios- But the studio has said they will NEVER make it.

        One of them was chasing a script for 20 years, there were 4 directors, all of them complaining about a similar situation. Actually, I think it was an Oscar round table, so they all had an academy award for directing or writing from that year [2011-13, i forget], and none of them were first time winners either, they were talking about past winners parties.

        Them still, having trouble with finance [like Black Swan, which was one of those 10-20yrs of chasing funders I think]; finding the very next week after awards they can’t pitch, can’t get phone calls returned, they are still expected to audition, people still “dont want to gamble on a script out of genre”, even reasonably low budget [under 10mil]: FML I mean really?

        Them turning to the back page first, not to sneak a look at how you end it to frame the piece; to check the page number, length thats all. Because they dont care. This is what we are being taught.

        AND THE TOTAL LOSS OF CREATIVE CONTROL. Other people rewriting and rewriting and rewriting your stuff. 40 of them, taking turns.

        And it hurt to hear because they were real artists. They really all were [IMO obvi]. But even if you don’t give me that: they have the accreditation. And mentors from the old guard. They had a vision, but that is completely irrelevant!

        That film will never be made, almost ever in every case. “Learn to let go, like a child growing up and leaving the nest”. Yeah, well, fine: but then why write? Why not make films with Chinese whispers.

        After 5 yrs there is some rule that the studio must open the script back up for sale again, but can set the price insane or decline offers still, so it amounts to the same things.

        And I learned of another 3 actors of ambiguous names that were children of historic playwrites, studio mega executives, and other actors. I actively go through the past of any “up and comer” now…: and it is also almost always depressing. Plus what about the things I dont find. -_-

        We’re the best school in my state but there is a definite feel that if you are not in NY or LA, at Columbia, NYU, Cal, UCLA ect networking your ass off with whoevers children happen to be around you; it is just a very depressing state of affairs.

        And as I said, my friends who did well had money to do that; from their parents. And skill too, dont get me wrong, (whether that is requisite is another depressing conversation, but I’m sure you can look around and … yeah).

        But to up and go to locations during semester, afford those schools [at all]; and not work while youre there; fund your own first piece perhaps with a lazy million off your own bank. I mean jesus.

        I do have one whose parents just paid his rent. Oh, and for his schooling. But even so. Such a leg up, it is insane. There are exceptions, but…played up. By people who have made it, with cause to play humble.

        Wow, that turned into a rant, sz :S.

        There is a light series called “party down” closing its 2nd season now covering the ones that give it all and get nothing. Comedy. It makes me cry. You may find it cathartic. I do.

        And what is wrong with casting your talented friends while you have the power to do so? Nothing! I would, if the set up allowed it. But, if Leo D takes an interest in a role… oh nm. 😛 To heck with it.

        I’ll save on therapy this week, Ta <3.

        The show is cameo studded, I thought "wow, this stuff must really resonate with all of these people too !?!".

        Of course, directed by Fred Savage, it turns out.

        I'm sure that is unrelated o_O.
        I didnt even see what companies he owns I just saw it in the closing credits and decided to cry instead. ^^ ❤

        Plus rainbows and dolphins. Xxx

  5. Nailed it with this post, Jillian. Thank goodness no D’s for me. Though, I think I became delusional just watching 10 seconds of that video. Wow, that was brutal.

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