Dear Huell Howser,
I sent you a facebook friend request back in February. You had 5,000 friends, so I figured that you couldn’t add more. I see that you are on an adding spree now and it’s hurting my feelings that you still haven’t added me back. Please don’t “not now” me — I love you.
I grew up falling asleep during the second half of your program on PBS, but I always knew you were a badass.
You have been useful in my everyday life — my high school newspaper used to hide its slush fund in one of your VHS tapes in our closet because we knew that no one would ever look for money there.