Dear Internet

Dear Internet,

I am currently a job seeker, so I cannot justify the purchase of  “A Treasury of Great Recipes” by Mary and Vincent Price with my own funds. This is my attempt to convince you, Internet strangers (and friends), to buy it for me for my birthday:

  • Vincent Price is in my third favorite quasi-horror movie, Tower of London
  • I want to digest his humor.
  • I really want to make the pineapple meringue recipe that lies inside this book. I will wear a vampire costume and film a tutorial of me making it in black and white. EVERYBODY WINS.
  • His ashes are scattered 12 miles from where I live. I will keep the windows open in an attempt to attract his ghost and will film any and all visits.
  • I will film a Julie/Julia type movie called: Ashley/Mary/Vincent. I will even keep a blog about my cooking adventures.
  • I will love you forever.
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