Puns should not be read out loud.

*wipes dust off blog*

ohhhh boy.

OK. So here is the deal: I have been experimenting with mediums and the written word, but also mediums and the improvised word, and one singular medium with improvised rhythms. Lest we forget that rhythm, like love, is a universal language.

*wipes dust off brain*

As you don’t know, I have been doing comedy and in doing so, I have evolved. I have done improv (not a team player), I have written sketches (my heart stopped singing), and I have done stand-up (the fastest way to crush my soul is to make me listen to five minutes of someone reading rapid fire cheeseball puns out loud in a droll voice).

Life lessons learned:

It is a party foul to earnestly ask someone whether their performance was
supposed to be comedy or something more serious.

Most people who pursue clowning in the 2010s have trust funds and a desire
for near constant validation. I never had an active desire for that
knowledge, but some greater power must have sent it my way.

You can make a best friend by slapping them on the face way harder than
you intended to. Also, this is an expedient way to get a reputation for
being brave in the often nonsensical context of comedy.

Banana cream pie is the best pie.

You can meet interesting and inspiring people, but you can also use that
social scene as an excuse to stay away from more solitary creative
outlets.

Stand-up is my favorite kind of comedy because if you find someone hard to
watch, you can always go to a cheese shop down the block and pretend to be
interested in $80 gift baskets while sampling dandelion soda and thinking
*someday, this could be me, person who gifts other people $80 cheese
baskets and casually drinks dandelion soda*

*wipes dust off sentimental feelings*

I have confirmed that written words on a page, web or otherwise, was the main thing I was looking for all along. And I am so excited and oh so dusty.

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2015: You Can’t Win Them All

A few highlights of my 2015 🙂 :

  • My old boss told me I sounded “too straight-forward” in work emails, so I should try to include a smiley face and an “!” in each email. This is now amongst my worst habits.
  • I discovered those video blackjack machines in Las Vegas that are pretty demeaning to animated women,  but also pay well if you play them right. Verdict: Worth it, but I feel a little dirty.
  • I think I only read one book, and it was about makeup …
  • I am almost out of debt
  • I didn’t write enough, this sentence feels short.

 

Happy New Year, every body! Be weary of drunk drivers, they are terrifying.

A Blog Post to the Internet (Because who are we kidding pretending this is a letter?)

Some days I feel nostalgia for things I’ve never had. For example, a pen pal in second grade who keeps up the charade of old-school blind friendship for more than ONE flashcard-sized letter. This is coming from a girl who gets overly excited by getting an email from a real human because my ratio of those to casting notices and newsletters is super underwhelming.

Hence, I’ve been largely hanging out in the physical world with the notable exception of online poker because no one is perfect except for my dog, and even she poops on the side of the house sometimes because it brings her great joy.

Here is a short list of what I have been up to:

  • Started to run a comedic variety show where I have made a lot of inspiring friends
  • Gave up all variations of soda for 8-months, didn’t lose any weight
  • Booked a national commercial and several pilots
  • Rented a house in the city (with roommates) that bled my finances dry
  • Got really into tap dancing
  • Moved to my parent’s house
  • Ran into Ricky Gervais on my way to a commercial audition, got really jazzed about it. Pulled a butt muscle during the audition, played it off real cool.
  • Hollywood is glamorous, y’all

So now I am back in the valley, charming everyone with my valley accent, and working to get myself back on my $$ feet because I am not sure how possible it is to be in your 20s and not work in tech and have a savings account.