Melted Cheese Tastes Like Rubber

One of my favorite clown teachers (my favorite way to start a sentence), told us that you should be constantly questioning the “why” of what you’re doing- whether it’s being a business man, a magician or a girl who lives in Venice Beach who has a blog and a kitten named Elvis.

This is something I’ve always done, but didn’t super realize it until he said it out loud and I was like “Oh, sh*t, that’s me!” TBF, I had the same reaction when someone told me that melted cheese tastes like rubber. right?

The why prevents me from being stagnant and accepting my current every day situations and skills as a permanent reality instead of a level of progress on an ongoing journey. I’ve surpassed my expectations in my 2-year Hollywood grind. I think it also helps that I have kept myself open to things I never saw being part of my life, mostly clown.

Reasons Why I Haven’t Blogged

I went to a hardware store alone for the first time. It’s possible that 50% of my purchase was Diet Dr. Pepper.

I am getting over my lifelong fear of yogurt

I joined a comedic dance team, and it just gets me right in my humor sweet spot

I want to know the name of the thing in hotel rooms, where it’s like a special lock, but it also has a chain so the door doesn’t open all the way

I got a smartphone and I have to charge it every day. what.

One of my comedy idols told me I was naturally funny and I didn’t know what to say. I got to thanks!

I went to a rare book fair and drooled everywhere

I discovered how to turn on my television after two years

I am assuming my bad luck this month is to allow for athlete’s olympic dreams to come true. And I am OK with that.

One of my best friend’s got in a bad car accident. So I’ve been like, oh sh*t, life. (He is making a good recovery and his worse injury is a broken eye socket, but head wounds are terrifying)

I realized Zedd is a man

I’ve been taking flexibility classes, which are contortion classes for not-so-cool people

I am rereading my favorite book

Accidental Brilliance

I’ve been watching the Billabong Pipe Masters competition and Kelly Slater, one of the best athletes of all time IMO, won his heat.

When Kelly Slater got out of the water, the surf journalist (journalist may be a strong word) asked Kelly “What are your habits?”

Kelly said he bit his nails too much and is late to things far more often than he would like #thingsjenniferanistonwouldneveradmit

There is something so exciting and inspiring about having one of your high-profile heroes not hiding from being a human.

So on that note, I blame my poor parallel parking on my big car and I am a bad speller. In middle school, I tried biting my nails once to see what the deal was, and I failed at it.

Phone Phoney

There is something very jarring about receiving a phone call from an unknown number, extra terrifying if it just says “Out of Area” because you don’t even get a zip code to hypothesize about. It’s like a knock on your door from a burly dude wearing a mask , except that you’re armed with an “end call” button instead of a hair straightener heated up to 470 degrees.

I have been a lifetime phone phobic and also a phoneyphobic, but that’s not a tale for the now. I guess I like to have face-to-face conversations with people.

If you are a “typical” American, I imagine most calls from new-2-you phone numbers are from the dry cleaner, the credit card company or telemarketers. As an actor who is a believer in buying hand wash OK clothes, my calls are a bit different. It could be a call saying I booked something, that a CD called my agent to say that I suck (hope this never happens) or it could be my vet saying my cat’s check-up was great. Actors are people with cats, too.

An unknown number can be a game-changer, and that’s a little bit terrifying, but probably not as terrifying as my home defense system. Note to self: get a baseball bat.