Dear Fellow Residents of the Internet,
If you are a personal friend of mine, you know I keep it real. I’ll tell you if you need a haircut because I can see your split ends, if your jeans look a little cholita or if the tag of your shirt is sticking out. In the same vein, dearest Internet, no one cares about any of our blogs enough to allow for “sorry I haven’t updated my blog” posts.
They are only okay if they are followed by some sort of epic story as to why you haven’t updated your blog. Needless to say, “sorry I haven’t updated my blog, I was on vacation for two weeks” = zzzzzzzzzzzzzzfest. Seriously.
The following is a formula to retain your reader’s attention while telling them the interesting/witty/morose story as to why you haven’t updated your blog in X weeks:
First of all, get rid of the apology. It’s your blog, you do what you want.
This leaves you with the openings, “These past few weeks have been some of the busiest of my life because X, Y, Z,” “Winning the lottery last month has drastically changed my life,” and “My grandmother died.”
Then explain your story in the style of your choice and get the heck out.