I decided to take a completely non-scientific look at what the WordPress curators think is funny/what they think will make the residents of WordPress lol. Basically, who do they think we are? Why does WordPress hate people who are actually funny?
1. Use the Top 10 Format* Nothing says comedy like a list.
Let’s check out this freshly pressed list about going to the dentist.
The idea of completely organized humor is about as edgy as David Letterman. I mean, how non-threatening is the blogger’s avoidance of the Oxford Comma?
answer: about as threatening as going to the dentist
I am not a fan of sweeping generalizations in comedy, or otherwise. I got a few points knocked off a paper I wrote freshman year because I called people who lived in America “Americans.” My TA scribbled “people who live in South America and Canadians are technically Americans, too!” in the margin ( <– I went to Berkeley). My TA had a point: generalizations are rarely accurate, usually offensive and frequently not funny. The things on this list are not true about my dentist — I love my dentist. My dentist could kick your dentist’s ass and maybe he should kick your’s too for making some mean-spirited generalizations about him.
2. Write About a Common Experience In this case, never lolling at a freshly pressed humor post.
Maybe I should take my own advice and stop posting about how ridiculous artichoke cookbooks that look like romance novels are.
Most WordPress users can relate to the subject of this freshly pressed post and nearly all people who avoid the Oxford Comma can. So cool, you have my attention, I hope you have something interesting to say.
I think a lot of good humor stems from the melding of ideas that don’t obviously belong together. If you go for the obvious, please have something original to add to the conversation. Content-wise this freshly pressed post seems super generic to me, at least they attempted to have some sort of writing style.
Let’s talk about the “!!!” at the end of the first sentence. It’d be annoying with one exclamation point, using three exclamation points unironically is just insulting to my intelligence. Give your audience the benefit of the doubt — they can figure out what’s important. Other frequently found offenders: CAPS LOCK, ???, ?!? and (parenthetical snark (I do this sometimes)).
3. Be White and Middle-Aged I can’t relate
I’m not going to comment on this further, but I am going to acknowledge that I am clearly not the target WordPress demographic. There needs to be a blogging platform geared towards apathetic 22 year-olds who aren’t obsessed with Glee (that disqualifies Tumblr).
4. Make Cheesy Jokes I do really well on this one
It hurts me when people try this hard to be funny.
I’m OK with cheesy jokes, but it’s important to use them sparingly. A post full of them is pretty much unreadable. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at a low quality Steve Jobs joke. Sorry I’m not sorry. Maybe people just shouldn’t answer their phones if they are too busy to talk? Seems like a simpler solution.
5. Be a Parenting Blog Bonus points if you’re a Daddy blog, they love that shizz
WordPress is the least edgy place ever.
No one cares about your kids. At least this freshly pressed blogger is a good writer, but in general mommy blogs make me hate the Internet. I also don’t really understand why mom jeans get so much hype — leggings as pants, camel toe and sweatpants are much more offensive.
- Write about first world problems, apparently all humorous situations happen to people from the same socioeconomic background
- Have a caption contest with some photo you ripped from The Economist
- Use five year-old jokes, like “Ugh Boots,” and pretend they’re original
- Be nostalgic of decades past, childhood or at least laugh at all the crazy technology the kids are using these days