I like to pretend that being an actor/improviser gives me a license to eavesdrop on people. You know, it’s not creepy, it’s totally just research for making interesting character choices. Also, it’s America, I do what I want.
A few months ago when I was unemployed (super uplifting way to start an anecdote), I was reading at a cafe and two police officers came and sat at the table next to me. The woman, who I think was a dispatcher, was a 300-pounder with her hair in a slicked back greasy pony tail. The man looked like Eric Estrada in the ’80s, except he was like a late ’90s version #vaguelydreamy.
Anyways, they had totally been doing it.
I guess he had been on vacation and hadn’t contacted his girly friend since he got back and she was really upset about and kept asking him “how do you think that makes me feel?” and he would be like “Bla bla bla, excuse, bla bla bla, excuse.” That went on for 20-minutes, no joke, and then *bam* awkward silence. They just stopped talking, and kept eating. For the record, she was eating oatmeal, which I guess is like a girl eating a breakfast salad on the worst date ever . Then all the sudden …
the lady cop was like, “I WANT YOU BACK!”
to which he responded,
And I was like ,
Ashley Jillian 
comparing oatmeal to breakfast salad…so true.
haha
p.s. I really like your blog 🙂
Thanks! I really like yours too 🙂
Hands down best line in this post: For the record, she was eating oatmeal, which I guess is like a girl eating a breakfast salad on the worst date ever and he was eating an unidentified sandwich.
😀
You’ve either got a great improv starter or the opening scene to the worst Law and Order Criminal Intent ever.
I second the “Criminal Intent” comment. YES. Or it could be SVU, and Ice-T could be the woman and Munch can be the man.
Yep. Looks like real script potential here
chuckles (~_~)
Love it:)
Nice blog,with a nice concept.
Great slice of life – sooooo funny
Great use of the pictures-you’re pretty funny! Sometimes, I wish things like this happened in my life. Then, I realize that they do, but I probably just don’t notice them.
Once you become aware you can’t go back.
Great views on a slice of life. Alphabet soup or oatmeal? I get more to read from the soup! Cheers! All the best.
You end it with monkeys, you got gold. Love it.
Les
Good ear. Not many posts out there that integrate pictures of Divine, Eric Estrada, and a monkey in a space suit. Yet you make it seamless and natural. On some level, that is disturbing, but you saw the excellent moment that most would never have noticed. A.
haha thanks for your kind words 🙂
This made me laugh.
“Anyways, they had totally been doing it.”
Uhmayzin.
Cheers,
-Patrick
http://www.awkwardeldon.com
I find myself eavesdropping all the time too. I blame it on my natural curiosity of human nature. Besides, it apparently makes good fodder for blogging. 🙂
Hilarious post! Keep listening!
I am the most oblivious person in the world when it comes to detecting “people doing it.” You have a true talent that you could use for evil. But instead you use it for good (i.e. improv).
PS Nice CHiPs reference – a girl after my own heart.
❤ ❤ ❤
This was a funny post. I like the way you combined photos in between your writing, too. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂 Thanks for clicking the like on blog writing and I will do the same here.
I too am a serial eavesdropper and have even shushed my husband to hear the end of someone else’s conversation. Glad to know I’m not the olnly one.