The first time I ever responded to a spammer because I just could not let this one go. Also, don’t copy/paste on any of the links, I made them unclickable because they might be malware or whatever.
Subject: Guest Blogging Inquiry
Hi, I came across your site, ashleyjillian.com and I wanted to know if you would be interested in letting me contribute and write a guest post? As you may already know, adding new content to your site is like adding fuel for Google and really helps to boost your rankings. I am a seasoned pro when it comes to online writing and I follow all the most up-to-date guidelines to make sure my articles are 100% Google friendly. Here’s some of the guidelines that I followhttp://zacharykwilliamson.com/writing-a-panda-friendly-article/ .
Here’s a few examples of some articles I have written recently…
http://adultsblogging.com/adult-search-engine-controversy/
http://pornbuffer.com/is-the-block-in-baltimore-still-needed-for-finding-female-escorts/
http://eroticmassagelists.com/2012/02/16/houston-erotic-massage-human-trafficking-crackdown/
http://adultsblogging.com/top-10-erotic-services/
If you are interested, I can pick topics that will appeal to your readers or you can even pick the topics and titles. If you’re not quite sure, then at least give me a chance to impress you and if you don’t like what I write then simply don’t post it. Thank you for your consideration and look forward to hearing back!”
–Dominique
Hi Dominique,
Can you please tell me about your time at pornbuffer?
Thanks,
AJ
Hi AJ,
To answer your question about the whole guest blogging thing, I’ll tell you how it works. I get in touch with a certain website’s webmaster and ask for permission to promote my site. When he/she approves of it, I’ll write an article on his/her website whose topic is either chosen by me or the webmaster, either is fine with me. In that way, I’ll be able to put in a link in my article going to my site and if my writing is good, I’ll also have many visits, thereby the website from where I posted it into will also be visited many times. It’s basically a win-win situation because I’ll be able to promote my site while having people visit the webmaster’s site too.That’s how it also works in pornbuffer.com. Some of the posts there are written by my team mates and we have been with many other sites as well (as you have seen in the sample articles I sent you).
I would really love to share my writing with others and I would really love to further our guest blogging experience in your site.
–Dominique
Hi Dominique,
Would you be open to writing a post on “Shit Dudes Say Post-Coital” or something else along those lines? Feel free to pitch me some ideas.
Best///
AJ
tweet me @alltidashley
Ashley Jillian 
Nucely done!!!!
Sorry about the spelling mistake: meant to say Nicely done!!
Full permission to misspell on this blog whenevs, I’m judgment free on that one because I am horrible speller
Nudely done? It was Freudian.
*giggles*
HAHAHAHAHA! That’s bloody priceless. Can’t wait to see the end result if she continues to write you back!
Beautiful 🙂
Classic! I really hope this continues for a little while longer
me too! But alas, it’s been four days.
Ah, pity….talking to spambot is like talking to a drunk senator. You just never know what they’re gonna say next. And they’re only ever slightly on topic.
That’s funny. I think that “**** Dudes Say Post-Coital” is a great idea for a post! Can I steal that?
do it, and I will post it on my blog as well, as a guest post. I am going to go ahead and suggest a mouthed “Thank you”
Awesome! You’re brilliant!
awww shucks! you’re too kind!
You can’t expect the answer any time soon. The aliens will land first… 🙂
eh, some believe the aliens have already landed
F..k! … and I am with these hairs… 😉
Nice response. Good chance ‘Dominique’ is some guy in India and he is waiting for his supervisor to look-up the meaning of ‘Post-Coital.’
Hahahahah! This comment made my day!
Good call! The word ‘coital’ and The Big Bang Theory are now inextricably entwined for me.
Dominique has chickened out? Shame, it sounded like it would have been of such benefit to you xoxo
lol
This can only turn out well.
?
Funny!
I love that you called her out on her experience at ‘pornbuffer.’ For some reason I’m picturing an adult version of an airport shoeshine stand….
And I literally did laugh out loud when I read this. I hope my laugh wasn’t loud enough to wake up my neighbor’s kid.
it was such a gift, I had to call her out on it
Pornbuffer! OMG. F-U-N-N-Y!!
🙂
Let me know how it turns out, I’ve been in the market for a relief pitcher to step in from time to time when I need a break from the drudgery that is blogging. 😉
Fu*king hilarious. I hope you get a response. Yeah, and pornbuffer? Is that like a car buffer for your weiner? I don’t get that.
here’s to hoping!
Shit dudes say post-coital:
“See ya later.”
“Do you have anything to eat?”
“Is there any beer left?”
“What’s your name, again?”
“Zzzzzzzzzz.”
There. Guest blog all done. I don’t even want anything in return. I swear. I promise I’ll call, too.
that’s what guys wish they say, or might think they say, but it’s not actually what they say
You’ve traveled in better circles, I see.
ah. that’s true, I’ve never hooked up with a bro. I think you might be right, sir!
My replies are slightly inaccurate; usually, the snoring starts half-way through the sentence.
Well done! We will all be waiting, breathlessly, for the reply. 😉
Absolutely hilarious……
Never forget the idiots are out there lurking in the bushes. You handled her perfectly.
Noice! Way to give her the virtual finger!
Well played! I hope you don’t mind that I shared this on my Facebook page; I have several blogger friends who have had the same eye-rolling spam comments, and I suspect they’ll all get a huge kick out of your reply!
yayy thanks for the share 🙂
Haha!
Awesome! You gotta let us know if you get a response.
Interesting! 🙂 would like to see how this one turns out for you.
Brava! 100 plus points for you girl!
I am surprised you got a response the first time!
Here’s one for your list. How do I know? I’m a guy! HAHA. “I just remembered I gotta be somewhere.”
laughing, and still laughing……If is was a spammer, I would have replied by now! Simply because I love writing…heck, I would even do a full article on toasters and unicorns, and the art of Kama Sutra if it was expected… no hold’s barred in my life! mmmm toasters and unicorns sounds like a magical moment….excuse me while I go eat some lucky charms for a moment:)
Now that’s funny!
Gosh you lucky girl! He’s the right person to write that article 🙂
Well played!
Hi, this is “Dominique.” I just wanted to tell you that we at pornbuffer appreciate your sense of humour but we see no value in creating a blog entry or website entitled “Shit Dudes Say Post-Coital” because, as you may know, it would be empty. As far as pornbuffer goes, our site is a buffer used to hold data with which we capture politicians’ prurient porn interests so that we have them by their short and curlies when we need them to pass legislation friendly to our business colleagues that many mistakenly call the Mob.
Please suggest another title and we’ll gladly discuss it with you, further. BTW, can you send us your name, address, and bank account information, while you’re at it? We want to deposit money to show you our sincerity in sharing the 28 million Euro we won in the Nigerian lottery. Much thanks in advance!
Signed,
Sanjeeda Khan a/k/a Dominique
Very nicely done.
Classic!
wow you write everything on the site?
Hilarious. Can I do a guest blog on Shit dudes say post coital if she/it doesn’t?
yup
Bravo for brave! Love it.. I have been so tempted to do something similar but didn’t want malware & couldn’t decide between girlsgirlsgirls , penile enhancement or webmaster ~ thanks for the whole hearted laugh.
Angelslight
Awesomeness. Turning a pointless spam email into comedy gold, love it. Now if you can just get some interesting info out of them, then it would move potentially into such great info, Tosh.0 might have to do a show about it.
AJ, you’re a pisser. 🙂 continue…
I get that one too and mostly just send it off to spam heaven.
I like the website names you created (porn buffer). Keep up the good work!
http://wp.me/pw3hE-85
Thanks,
Kevin
Very funny! I usually just delete them, but this was a cool alternative. Crack me up!
U told her good!
*hehe* That is great! I wonder if she (?) knows what “coital” means, kinds sad she gave up so easily.
Simply great. I really hope there is a follow up.
That’s hilarious. I’d love to read THAT article LOL
I’m always so far behind..but like all those above me have already succinctly and humorously pointed out…you kick ass…
Also a little jealous that you get such great f-in spam
H wish I got spam like that! Thanks for the morning laughter …. needed it.
Well, damn the computer that has taken to posting wtf ever it wants no matter what I’ve written! That was supposed to read – “HA! I wish I got spam like that! Thanks for the morning laughter …. needed it.”
Hilarious – I can’t stand the misfits!
Legitimately awesome!
One thing this person did was get her name out there… I’ve read over ten blogs in the last week about this, where she blindly sent this e-mail out to any blog she could find…
I got it and just laughed it off… now, if she’d done some research and found 3-5 blogs that fit with whatever it is she’s trying to blog about, maybe someone would’ve taken her up on it…
Which actually begs the question: did anyone out there take her up on this?
Armand Rosamilia
Very good! I liked this allot and hope dominique writes again!
Ha hilarious!
Entertaining and funny. I needed a good laugh. This concept brings to mind the movie “Jerky Boys” where the two guys played juvenile pranks via phone calls. It would be absolutely hilarious to see a serial blog dedicated to “messing with the spammers”. Who knows, could become a film some day!
Nicely done.
Did he ever follow up? I know it was meant facetiously on your part, but man, seems like he was biting into it hook, line, and sinker.
hahahahaha.
Funny.:)
I like how your responded back in the same “matter of fact” tone that was presented… #noneed2benastywhenucanarticuleyourselfwell..girlpower!
I am rolling on the floor laughing out loud (well in my mind I am! If I really rolled on the floor I think it would hurt … a lot.) What a great break from an otherwise blah day 😀 I’m subscribing to your blog and looking forward to many more LOLs.
You’re so sweet! Thanks 🙂
Classic.
You remind me of me — you just can’t resist jumping in the fray and taking someone like this on. Very funny, low key, self deprecating.
Love this. Any time you can really get someone like this, be it online or in person, it is so gratifying. I work at a candle store in the mall, and once a guy came in (Tommy Bahama shirt wearing, disgruntled dad, hates shopping with his wife, resents having to trade in the Corvette for the minivan, kind of guy) looked right at me and said, “Boy, it sure smells like candles in here.” Like he is the only asshole to ever think that one up. So I say, “You know, we can’t figure out where the smell is coming from. We’ve let the mall office know, we’ve called all kinds of maintenance, and we just can’t figure out how to get rid of it. Can I help you find any books today?” Dude didn’t know what to do.
It’s the little victories.
Badass!!
Reblogged this on Write On Spot and commented:
CAUTION new bloggers….only use “guest bloggers” you know and or invite…read this hilarious post and you will understand why! Kudos to AJ for some entertaining learning about the blogsphere and spammers!
Ha! Hilarious! Kinda like asking a telemarketer for their home number! I wish we could find the originator of the program and all write him/her a letter on the same day… that would be funny:)
Excellent post! Thanks for taking care of that one for all of us. 🙂
That…is hilarious. XD
Nice!
Great entry! I’ve come close to posting some of the nonsense Askimet captures each week, but I have yet to get an awesome personalized spam/scam request like that one.
Very amusing!
that’s insane! lol
Hillarious. XD