Unknown Text

I got a text from a number not saved on my phone on New Years Eve that said:

“You’re my favorite! I love you XOXO”

That kind of thing puts you in a really tough position — someone I obviously didn’t deem important enough for me to be”phone number friends” with was professing their love for me. The XOXO hints that the writer was probably a girl who loved me in a friendship way. Thanks, UC Berkeley comparative literature classes. Luckily, I have a reputation for being really bad at responding to text messages, so I had some time to ignore it/figure out how to respond to it without sounding like a dick. Also, to clarify, bad at responding to text messages unless it’s someone I want to make-out with.ย If I were to let my dick flag fly, I would’ve responded with something along the lines of …

“Do I know you?”

“It’s cool that you love me, stranger/acquaintance/person I had a drunk conversation with at a party”

“How did you get my phone number?”

“I am kind of creeped out right now”

In my (45-second) brainstorm sesh (I don’t talk like this irl), the best I could come up with was,

“so sorry — I got a new phone, who is this?”

A total lie, but an efficient and quasi-believable one. I would believe it if it happened to me, but that probably isn’t an entirely accurate measure of society. So, I passively waited for a respond to see who it was and I pretty much forgot about it until the next day when I started thinking about whether there is someone out there who just sends texts like that to random numbers just to elicit strange responses. Like, I hope that person exists, and that they find cooler hobbies in the near future. I think it might be fun to do for like an hour, but as someone with very little free time, it would never happen. I think I am passive aggressively trying to get you to do it and report back.ย 

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59 thoughts on “Unknown Text

  1. Sorry. I sent that creepy text. I can’t help myself. But the medicines are helping. ( JUST JOKING, of course! Seriously, I’m not being serious. I’m being facetious. I did not send that txt msg.) One of my other personalities did. ( OKAY, NOW I’M REALLY JOKING!!! YOU GET IT, right? You understand that I’m just kidding, right? They’re won’t be any policemen at my front door tomm’w morning, right? Okay?) I should have stopped when I was ahead. Anonymous txt msgs. are friggin’ CREEPY! Especially to all the women I sned them to.. (OKAY, OKAY…NOW I’M REALLY KIDDING, all right? YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT I’M JUST JOKING, right? )

  2. In addition to having “one of those faces” that makes people start talking to me because they think I’m someone else, I also have “one of those numbers” that people think is someone else.
    I’ve tried to carry on the conversation, but as soon as I reply with “OMG!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?” and the picture of the mating water buffalo (on my phone for just this purpose), they never text back…

  3. You forgot “I love you, TOO, Sweetiepants!” Let’s really do it this time. Let’s get married and raise toy poodles together. Forever and ever.”

    The ball’s in their court.

  4. I would have just said, “Who’s this?” and left it to them. People blame things on technology all the time, so pretty much everyone is used to it. If the person was all butt-hurt about it, and I would have THEN stepped it up and lied about crappy phones and losing info. Lol.

  5. You could have replied: “Thanks. Please send name and $40 for your very own autographed photo…but wait! There’s more. For a limited time only, for $60 you will get the autographed photo AND a lifetime membership to Ashley’s blog! Act now.”

  6. I got one on new year’s day talking about how good it was seeing me the night before ( I have very little recollection of who I saw that night) and how much this person cherishes my friendship. Once I found out who it was, I’m glad I didn’t text her to ask who it was. It’s happened 2 other times with this girl and I never save her number.
    I’m an ass.

  7. Considering it was New years….this person was brave and drunk. They professed their love for you. Upon realizing you had no f’%#%ing clue who they were and by now, they were sober, they decided to leave it be. Of course, this would be until they get drunk again. ……………Just a theory.

  8. I get wrong numbers from different area codes…not even ones one or two digits off, just completely wrong. I usually answer the texts with “I am not sure if that is fact. Let me let my sargeant get back with you on that.” Rather effective.
    Red.

  9. I hope there is someone who does this, and I absolutely don’t think they should stop. At leas not until after they’ve sent me one.. I could use a little pick me up.

  10. To look โ€œI got new phoneโ€ catastrophe in a positive way is, I got new friend! Yeah it all depends on who got the new phone. Sometimes the new phone owner can make you feel I wish I didnโ€™t have a phone. Interesting blog youโ€™ve got here, I am sure it will be fun reading. And yeah, thanks for visiting my blog.

  11. Angry people misdial the number for a crapass contractor here in town and get me. One time I got a text that said “Can u give me directions?” I replied “Far away”

  12. Haha I say that all the time…almost to the point where I don’t feel so bad that I don’t have their number ๐Ÿ™‚ Great post

  13. I live in Malawi, Africa. I got a text from the US saying, “Happy new year mi amor”. My guy-bestfriend whose number I had lost lives in Washington Dc and would totally say that so I texted back, “and to you my love”. i thanked him over im for the message. he didn’t know anything about it. i asked him to send me his number, it was a different area code. i googled my ‘amor’s’ number’s area code; it was from new york. i dont know anyone in new york.

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